Join Marly in this episode, as she chats about how she manages being a full-time stay at home mom and blogger.
Hey there, and welcome back to The Marly Dice Podcast.
I’m so glad you’re here mamas because this episode is for YOU. It seems like a dream, doesn’t it?: to be able to work at home on your blog and take care of your kiddos simultaneously.
It is a dream. It absolutely is. I feel lucky everyday to be able to live the life I do, blogging and taking care of my little one. But, like most things in life, it doesn’t come without its challenges.
How do you get that balance that you’re craving between motherhood and blogging? How can you give so much of yourself on a daily basis and stay sane at the same time? How to you make time for your babies and still be productive on your blog when you’re so darn tired?
I’m going to explore all of these questions in this episode.
I started my home blog, A Brick Home, when my daughter was five months old. She’s almost three now, so I’ve been blogging and mom’ing simultaneously for a few years now, and I’ve learned a few tricks along the way for making time for both motherhood and blogging.
The first thing I learned is this: Be willing to adjust your schedule as your baby grows, but allow for leniency and the go-with-it mentality.
That’s a mouthful, but I’m going to break it down for you.
I’m a big believer in schedules and to-do lists and, generally, staying organized. I always have been, since even before my time in the corporate world as a marketer. I’ve always thrived on consistency. Now this is not uncommon. A lot of people thrive this way, with scheduling and to-do lists, but I’ve learned adapting is key and so is, not having a locked-in schedule.
My daughter’s schedule is constantly changing. When she was a baby, she napped way more than she does now at two and a half. And now, she wants to always be learning, and I want to always be teaching her.
So, I’ve learned that as she grows and her schedule changes, I need to adapt my blogging schedule alongside her schedule. It’s not about me and my schedule. It’s about her and her schedule, and then adapting to that.
That’s not always been easy for me because I’m so used to having a schedule and sticking with it.
Having to find new ways to manage our time every few months is challenging, but it’s necessary to do that I can find time to blog as well.
It’s kind of a no-brainer that we, as moms, have the most time to blog when our littles are sleeping, whether it be nap time or bedtime.
As they grow and their bedtime and nap time schedules change, we need to be willing to adjust to those time changes.
But, here’s the kicker. When you have a little one, usually things don’t goes as planned. It’s just the nature of motherhood.: things don’t go as planned
Sometimes your kiddo will nap for ten minutes in the car and then not nap for the rest of the day. You know what I’m talking about here. It’s like they got their power nap in and then they’re GOOD.
So that can be tough, when you were planning on working during their nap, and then they don’t take one.
I’ve learned that to avoid this scenario, I need to do my errands when she first wakes up so that she won’t take a cat nap in the car. If I try to run errands right before lunchtime, she’ll most definitely, drift off in the car and then won’t nap in the afternoon.
So, learn you child’s sleep habits and then adjust your schedule accordingly.
One particular thing I’ve been dealing with, scheduling-wise with nap time, is that my daughter always wants me to lay with her until she falls asleep.
Well, many times, I’ll end up falling asleep too. A couple hours pass by, and we both wake up, and I’ll get little upset that I slept through the time when I have to actually work on my blog without interruption.
And this part of it gets back to my point of having a go-with-it mentality.
Sometimes our mama bodies are tired and need a rest anyway. And on those days, it’s a good thing to get a nap in.
On the days I do fall asleep even when I’m not overly tired, I try not to get upset with the mentality that I lost time from blogging and try to have a mentality that ‘m not going to get to nap with her forever, so it’s a good thing to take advantage of the times I do get to.
So on those days where you accidentally fall asleep while trying to get your babe down for a nap, go with it, cuddle up with your little one. Appreciate that you get the chance to do that, before they grow out of napping altogether or wanting to nap with you at all.
After all, isn’t that the real benefit of getting to work at home on your blog? You get to have these precious moments with your little, which you wouldn’t otherwise be able to do.
That being said, I do realize, it’s not realistic to nap every single day with your little if you want to be a blogger because you need that time to work on your blog. That’s why I started coming up with alternative solutions.
I find that with my daughter, she just wants me to be nearby. As long as I’m close to her, she will fall asleep. I can take her upstairs in her bed to nap, but that means I need to lay down with her to fall asleep. Instead of doing that, I’ve started changing her napping location.
Now, she naps either on our couch or in her little tent that is in our living room. Either way, I can work with my laptop on the couch while she naps, and she’s perfectly content knowing I’m right there.
Investing in a laptop was actually something I’ve found to be worthwhile. Now that’s not to say I never had a laptop. I had one back in college, that basically doesn’t work anymore. And then after that, I always had a company laptop so I didn’t really need a personal one.
I’ve had a desktop for years so that has always sufficed, and I still have it because I love the large screen. But, I found that to be limiting because my daughter always wants to be where I am. I suppose I could have set it up in our living room, but I like having a dedicated office space, just for our computer and files.
So, I mentioned to Jason that I really wanted a laptop, and he gifted me one for my thirtieth birthday earlier this year.
It has been a GAME CHANGER.
Now, I can work anywhere.
And to that point, quick story. Obviously now, not only can I work anywhere in my home, I can take my work outside of our home because of finally having a personal laptop. Just the other day, my friend and I had a working get-together.
Talk about adulting. HA! And it was a weekend working date. Both of us had goals to be productive so we did just that. I was able to meet her one day and work on my blog because I now have a laptop. Seriously. the. best. decision. to. get. a. laptop.
Which brings me to #2, which is that you need to have help, with your little.
Having help can mean getting a babysitter, it can mean dropping your little off at the gym playroom while you get a workout in because hashtag #metime, it can mean having a grandparent watch your little one, it can mean a daddy day.
I’ve realized that there has to be sacrifice.
When my husband is home, off work, of course I want to have a family day every single time when he’s here. But, it’s just not realistic.
There has to be balance. Many of the days that my husband is off work, he’ll take our daughter for a daddy-daughter day, so I can get blogging things done. It just has to be that way so that I can have time for the things that require a quiet and require full on focus.
Some blogging tasks don’t require full on focus, so I reserve the tasks that do for the days that I have help.
For me, I also have learned that I have to give up some weekend outings so I can work on my blog.
My mom, for example, is able to babysit, but only on weekends because she has a full-time job. I’ll, again, save those focus-related tasks for when she is able to babysit. That may mean that I don’t get to do a fun activity with friends each and every weekend, but I’m okay with that because I truly love blogging.
Blogging is fun for me, and it gives me a chance to use my creativity. So, again, I’m fine with it but I think sacrificing other things is something we have to realize is necessary if we want to be able to make time for our blog & little.
And, when you do have help, sometimes you have to NOT blog. That’s right. I’ve found that in order to stay sane, I have to also make time for myself.
If you keep giving and giving and doing and doing and not put yourself first ever, you’ll start to burn out.
So, sometimes, when I do have help, I’ll take some time for myself. I’ll go get my hair done, I’ll take a long, hot shower, I’ll give myself a pedicure, I’ll go shopping all by myself and buy a new shirt. There has to be balance.
And, I’m learning that that non-balance is something that creeps up on you.
After a week of really hard work, for example, I’ll feel like, suddenly, I need to do something for myself. I may not get that feeling again, for, say two weeks after that. But when that feeling comes, I always try and make time for me, even if it means sacrificing a little bit of blogging time.
Because if you’re not taking care of yourself, it’s hard to do ANYTHING else.
Which is a good Segway to #3, which is I’ve learned that you have to put yourself and your family first, before your blog.
Yes, we want and need to make time for our blog. But, we also don’t want our blog to run our lives. We don’t want to regret doing our blog or want to get to the point of hating our blog because we feel like we don’t have time for ourselves or our family.
Blogging should be a fun and great thing, so if you start resenting it, it’s because either #1. Blogging is not the right path for you or #2. You’re not scheduling your time in the best way to account for being a blogger & a mom.
I’ve gone through my own hardships with this, with overwhelm and I had to take a step back and re-evaluate my life. I talk all about it in episode #21 of my podcast, so after you’re done this episode, take a listen to that episode if overwhelm is something you’re facing right. Sometimes it helps to know that you’re not alone in this journey.
It is hard. Balance is hard. Overcoming overwhelm is hard. But it’s doable.
And I hope my podcast is a place you’ll turn when you’re facing the challenges of being a blogger. You are not alone in this, and I think sometimes just hearing it from a fellow blogger is helpful.
So, to just quickly wrap up.
The main things I’ve learned are that scheduling is great, but you’ve got to be willing to adjust your blogging schedule as your child’s schedule changes. I’ve learned that everyday is not going to be the same. As much as we may want an exact schedule, being a mom is all about adapting to whatever life throws at you at that day. You’re not sitting in a cubicle able to focus 100% on your blogging tasks. You have to find the best times to work. I’ve learned that you need help, it’s going to be really hard to do this alone if you’re a full time mom and a blogger. Take advantage of family and friends offering to watch your kiddo. Utilize that time for blog AND for yourself. If you’re feeling like you need a pick-me-up or a day for JUST YOU, then put your blog aside, because you’re health and wellbeing come first. And lastly, don’t put your blog ahead of your family or yourself. Your family and you should always come before blog, so that you don’t end up resenting your blog.
I hope today’s episode spoke to you mama. We all have a struggles, and it’s not easy to be both a mama & blogger, but it is doable & manageable.
I hope you have a great rest of your day. If you loved today’s episode make sure to subscribe & leave me a review on iTunes.
Facebook community: facebook.com/abrickhome
Instagram community: instagram.com/abrickhome
Episode 21 on overwhelm: https://marlydice.commy-story-of-overwhelm-how-i-came-out-on-top/
PIN IT:
